Searching for Normal

Its been almost 2 months since I posted to my blog. On this personal journey to find some semblance of "normal" I can tell you that the struggle continues to be very real but I'm getting closer to internal peace.

If you followed our journey, we left PA in mid-September with the intent to return in late February. The plan took shape, we bought a 30ft camper and happily headed west. Six weeks later we were back home. The adventure was fun but we realized that the part we most enjoyed, included our family. 

A few days back and our son calls to ask if we were still planning to be with them for Thanksgiving. Hummm, while it had been our original plan, now, given that we were home and the camper was winterized and tucked away at the storage site, we would need to discuss it. The deliberation took about a day with the biggest challenge involving the care of our pets while away. Our regular sitter was unavailable over the holiday. More discussion ensued and by the end of the day, the holiday trip had become an extended road-trip and a stay in Kansas through December. The fur-babies would be coming along...provided we promised that Peka, our Siberian Husky, would not eat any of the cats (let's just say that Peka's history precedes her). 

My son and his wife own a 20 acre property in SE Kansas. I'd say we are socially distanced (from everything). 

While normal has not involved our home with the traditional decorations, lights and entertaining that most holidays bring, it has provided the comfort of being close to our family...the silver lining to the whole pandemic. Without the flexibility of remote work, I would never have had the opportunity to spend this quality time with those who are most dear to my heart.

So, I sit her in a room that is designated as "mom's office". There are Christmas decorations on the desk and a Poinsettia on the nightstand (curtesy of my daughter-in-law). My green screen is behind me for those office-looking Zoom meetings and, at this moment, I feel...at peace...blessed...normal. 

       Without virtual background                                    With Virtual Background

This weekend we are doing a lot of holiday baking. In my world, that is a VERY normal event. Maybe, to some extent, I have at least found my Christmas normal. Family, laughter, great meals, cookie baking and twinkly lights. "Normal" feels closer than it has in months. 

xo

Home Sweet Home

Well my friends, what was intended to be an adventure across the country, wintering in San Marcos, TX with 75 degree temperatures in January, gradually evolved into a wonderful 6 week trip with stops at the Outer Banks, Pigeon Forge, Muscle Shoals and Oklahoma City. We spent quality time with our family and we will talk about the camp sites, sunsets and fireside conversations for years to come.

 

Why did we come back so soon? If I said "work", that wouldn't be exactly accurate. The better response is, "I didn't consider how I work". I'll be honest, I love my work. I look forward to waking up and tackling whatever is laid in front of me on any given day. I've been this way for as long as I have had a career. So, the challenges of being on the road, away from the wide-open space and conveniences of my home office, grew more noticeable each week. One morning Nick said, "can you believe there are only 12 weeks left before Christmas?" All I heard was, "Can you believe that you still have 12 more weeks of being cramped up with your laptop, 10 hours a day, before we are at your dad's?" THAT is when reality kicked me in the head, knocking me out of the adventurous ideas I had conjured up about glamping, fireside chats, and the carefree, easy-going, low-maintenance tiny home life that we had temporarily adopted. As hard as it was going to be to open the conversation with my husband, it would be 10 times harder to do 12 more weeks of "THIS".

 

         An evening with Connor and Delaney in Oklahoma

Looking back, I have not a single regret about doing something so completely out of my comfort zone. We had a lot of fun on our adventure. Several weekends were with family and most of our evenings often began with a delicious dinner at a local restaurant favorite (thanks to Yelp) followed by a beverage and a campfire.  What I'll treasure most during those weeks was that we were able to slow down the pace of our life for a minute. We took walks. We searched for constellations during those fireside chats. We valued the time with one another. All great things that we need to do more of...and we will!

    When we saw this sign, I felt so close to home!

Fast forward, its been 10 days since we arrived back home. The travel trailer is at the "camper spa" getting winterized and detailed before we store it for the winter. There are still a few things to put away from the trip and then life will be back to normal...with the added appreciation of Pennsylvania and the colors of Fall from our backyard.

For those of you who followed our little journey these past weeks, thanks for the messages and support along the way. Its time to shift gears, do some baking, a little decorating and start preparing for the holidays... oh, how I love being HOME. 

The Struggle is Real

Not really...the struggle is pretty much over. It started this time last week. "Do we stay or do we go?" As in...go home. Boy, did I struggle. I am certain that my husband is convinced that I am a lunatic. One day I want to keep moving along on the adventure and the next, I miss home and friends...baking and fall decorating. His response...every single time..."whatever you want to do, honey." Believe it or not, sometimes, agreeing with me is NOT an option I prefer. So, last Sunday, I put it in God's hands. I said a prayer and asked for a sign.

An evening chilling out by the fire. The tent space is my new "office" that Nick set up as an option other than the camper.

On Monday morning I got up at 5am, leashed up the pups and out the door we went for our usual early morning walk. I was probably 50 feet from the camper when I missed the step off of a curb and went down pretty hard, bracing myself with my left hand. You guessed it...injury! I was certain I had broken my hand. The pain was excruciating. My husband helped me up and got me back to the camper to begin icing. The first thought through my head, "Really God?! I asked for a sign, not a broken hand."

My hand feels even worse than it looks. Typing is a challenge. I keep hitting the  "caps'' button instead of the "a".

The rest of the morning was spent in Urgent Care. While I awaited the results of the x-ray I got a text from a dear friend that told me she missed me she had read my blog from the day before. She wrote that she could see I was struggling with the decision to go home. She then sent words of encouragement and a message that all would be the same when I got back. Her final message conveyed that I should enjoy the journey and this once-in-a-lifetime experience. As I was reading the text, it hit me that THIS was the sign. No more struggle, My head cleared and I found myself relax (other than the pain I was experiencing). By the way, the x-ray showed that my hand was not broken, just a severe sprain. It was going to be an uncomfortable next few days.

On Tuesday, as we were drinking our early morning coffee and icing my purple hand that resembled a balloon, I looked at my husband and said, "its time to go home. There is nothing we have here that we don't have better at home...aside from warm weather." There was no struggle. My mind was clear. The adventure has been worth everything we put into it, but as we talked, we discovered that the "fun" part was the stops along the way seeing our family and making all those new memories. 

In a few weeks it will be Thanksgiving. We will return to the Midwest for a week of quality time with those I love (my favorite thing), no work demands and nothing to do but enjoy every minute of the holiday. I am getting excited!

Tomorrow we head east with the goal of arriving home Sunday afternoon. We left PA exactly a month ago. It feels much longer. I'm excited to be back in my space. I've seen nothing on this adventure as beautiful as watching the sunrise above the Susquehanna River or set behind the mountains in rural Pennsylvania. I'll share a picture or two next week and we can enjoy it together. I'm going HOME.

Ciao!

Adjusting to "Normal"...Kinda

We've been at our long-term site for a week now. This new "normal", begins at 5:00am on most days. The workday begins at 7:00am (sometimes earlier) and ends around 5:00pm. Keep in mind, I'm now in the central time zone which means the work day has changed and not for the better. Particularly, the amount of time I spend sitting in the booth of our travel trailer.

I have to admit, there is nothing ergonomic about my workspace layout. I did not think through the lack of comfort I might experience during the day. Bottom line...you don't know, what you don't know. I thought about working at the picnic table but that all depends on the weather. If it's too hot or too windy, it's not happening. I've encountered both extremes since arriving in Oklahoma and the forecast confirmed that I would be working inside all week.

I caught a break when my dad called and invited my husband to join him for a few days of golf. Late afternoon on Wednesday, we loaded up the truck, left the camper at the site and drove the 3.5 hours to Wichita. The 10am tee-times on Thursday and Friday guaranteed me quite comfort during Zoom meetings in the dining room. What a treat! 

It's Saturday morning. We've been on our adventure for almost a month. The plan was to do this as long as it felt "fun". For me, in this phase of our adventure, the weekends are the only time this feels like "fun". The other five days are, as they were intended, regular workdays. While there are definitely new things to see and do on our adventure, I can feel the melancholy starting to set in. Today I found myself missing my house, the fall air, the leaves changing color and more than anything else, I missed our friends back home. I expected to miss a few things, mostly people at some point, but not a mere month into the adventure. I figured mid-November or early December. Definitely not October!

So it seems that in addition to underestimating the comfort level of my work space, I did not anticipate the degree of fondness I have for our life in Pennsylvania. This is a dilemma I'll need to work out in my head if we are to continue but I fear that the heart may win out. Stay tuned.

Lake Murray...We've Arrived

Its taken us 2-1/2 weeks to get here but we are settled in and working from Lake Murray in Ardmore, OK. for the next few weeks. Why this location? Easy, its a little over an hour from Connor & Delaney, our youngest son and his wife. Our hope is that we will have an opportunity to spend some quality time with them while we are in this area.

This is also our "make sure we like it" point in the adventure. This placeholder was the safety net for me more than my husband. Working from the dining space of our camper is where I will be for the next several weeks. After the first two weeks of adapting to the new space, the question is, "Can I do this for several more weeks?". The jury is still out. Its not ideal but, as with all things, there are trade-offs. So, I'll see how this week goes and assess again over the weekend. Apparently Mousse doesn't seem to have a problem with the digs at all. 

   Mousse fell asleep during my Zoom call 

Now on to our short-term address, Lake Murray State Park, located in south central Oklahoma, is its largest state park. The lake itself is spring-fed. Its a relatively small lake with only 6,000 surface acres. While we did not bring our kayaks on the trip (BIG HASSLE), we do intend to take in a little kayaking and boating on the weekends. 

 

                 One end of Lake Murray 

Our camp site is part of a private resort for RV'ers. We are across from a fishing pond. The view out that direction is meadows, farmland and the pond. The other side, well, its a view of other camper sites. 

                            A view from the tip of the fishing pond 

I have to say, the campers we've encountered on our trip have been pretty cool. We've not run into any rudeness, people clean up after themselves and their pets, and most give you a wave when they pass by (sort of a Midwest thing). Can you ask for better hospitality? Now, if we can just get the neighbors to plays Dominos. :)

 

                 Sundown at the campsite

Quick Stop in Hot Springs, AR

We made a quick weekend stop in Hot Springs, AR. Our plan was initially to check out the Springs, maybe schedule a massage while we were on Bathhouse Row. The cool temperatures and a little rain in the morning impeded our plans but we are agile, we switched gears and took a scenic drive through the National Forest. 

The majority of our Hot Springs, AR adventure took place at the KOA Campground. We’ve stayed at 4 KOA’s now and all have been really well maintained. They pick up your bag of trash in the morning and deliver ice or wood to your site if needed. Pretty sweet amenities when “roughin’ it”.

While the travel plan is to sight-see on the weekends, we skipped adventure yesterday and opted out for R&R. Perhaps it was the beautiful fall weather or the joy of having a leisure day with nothing on the to-do list but listen to music while sitting by the camp fire. Who knows...it just felt like the best of all options. Just to mix things up, I grabbed a nap as well. 

I probably get two naps a year...maybe. It just seems like there is too much to do to lose a couple hours in the middle of the day just sleeping...but in this alternative reality I am not constantly running. I have plenty of time to spoil myself with an afternoon siesta...and that is exactly what I did and Peka joined me.

Why is it, as a kid, we fight the idea of naps? They are AWESOME! While we are on our adventure, Saturday afternoon naps are going to be a more regular part of my weekend plan. I HIGHLY recommend them.

This morning we got up early and torn down camp. This  consists mostly of putting everything away inside the camper and then pulling all the plugs on the outside. After two weeks, we almost have our system down. I manage the inside checklist and Nick keeps us covered on the outside water, sewer (so happy he got this job) and electrical items. So far, this is working out pretty well.

By the day's end, we will be parked at a lake in Oklahoma through the rest of October. This will be the real test. Up until now we have been working our way over to this spot. Now we settle in to work and "normal" for awhile. Stay tuned.

We'll Be Back, Muscle Shoals, AL

While Muscle Shoals, AL is likely not at the top of most travelers "must-see" list, it was definitely at the top of ours. Why? Because it is the home of the two other ladies in Nick's life, his mom and his sister.

This was our glamping site for the week. Nick's mom has a wonderful property complete with multiple outbuildings and a pad that was more that large enough for our camper to sit on. We also had the bonus of water all week which was an unexpected surprise and greatly appreciated!

Muscle Shoals may ring a bell if you are a history buff. It was the city that the US Government chose to  begin producing nitrates for ammunition and explosives to support WWI efforts. Millions of taxpayer dollars were used in the construction of a dam that would harness the Tennessee River and power the two nitrate factories that had been constructed. The production factory, powered by steam at the time, began production of nitrates 2 weeks after the war ended. Not wanting to spend any more resources on the war effort, during peaceful times, Congress opposed further funding to the development of the dam and began looking for a private sponsor who would finish the dam. In walks Henry Ford and his visions on urban design. Ford's ideas were never able to come to fruition. Politics, The New Deal and The Great Depression are among some of the reasons that the area never took off.

Muscle Shoals is a small rural city best known for FAME Recording Studio - home of "Muscle Shoals Sound". For us, it is where we can find family, laughter, a great meal, game night and quiet conversations around the fire pit. 

                

Some of our evenings were here, by a fire, telling stories of the past and laughing...a lot. The patio is not decorated for any special holiday. This is my sister-in-law's love of things looking festive and fun. She has such a free spirit that is shared with all of us. Both she and Ellie, my mother-in-law, were the best hosts. We spent every evening somewhere under the back patio enjoying the breeze while we played games and had a drink or two. I could not have had a better time.

The moon coming up behind Diesel, Ellie's horse.

Nick and Diesel have a special bond. Maybe its because Nick always has apple chunks when they are together. 

Nick with his mom, Ellie and his sister, Teresa. I just love this picture.

Nick and I spent a week in this quiet community near the northwest corner of the state. My sister-in-law graciously gave me her office to use for work during the day. Our evenings were consumed with dice games, Dominos, Rubikub, and card games. We ignored the outside world and took in every moment we could enjoying the company of one another. We can't wait to get back and spend more quality time with these two special ladies! 

Hello Pigeon Forge, TN

Our adventure puts us in Pigeon Forge, TN this week. I am sitting here at my "desk" which is actually the dining room booth that I have taken over as my office space. There is a lovely view out the window of the Little Pigeon River. I've walked the dogs past the edge of the stream a few times. I can see our Husky’s wheels turning. I'm certain she will have devised a way to swim in that water before we leave Friday evening. She's a clever one.

We had our first learning experience yesterday. Specifically,  in understanding how the black and grey tanks work. If you choose to travel in an RV and don't want your moving casa to smell like an outhouse EVER...there are things that need to happen before and after use. In our case, we learned the lesson after the literal poop-pouri scent permeated our coach. All better now. Thanks to YouTube. 

After a long work day, my favorite thing to do is sit out by the fire and relax. If I were home, I’d have a list of things that needed to be done. This experience is forcing me to take a breath and enjoy the moment. This never would have happened in the old normal. So, here we are, making lemonade out of lemons! 

It’s not just work and campfires, this week we sampled local TN country cooking, found pottery at The Old Mill and took a site-seeing trip up to Anakeesta by way of a ski lift (minus the snow and the skis).

A cookie that looks like me!

View of Gatlinburg, TN from the treetop at Anakeesta

Nick and I are taking the lift up to the treetop.

Finally, no stop is complete without Nick playing a course or two while I’m at the “office”. Here are some pics from his visit to Island Pointe Golf Club in Knoxville, TN.

Ciao.

First Stop: OBX

Our adventure begins in Coinjock, North Carolina to see close friends and family that were also visiting over the weekend. None of us expected that Tropical Storm Sally would be joining the festivities. All of the planned beach walking, sand dune pictures and lighthouse tours would have to wait for another trip. Instead, we enjoyed a couple lovely dinners, a competitive game of dominos and a spirited game of Exploding Kittens. Sally could do her thing...we were having a lot of fun despite the howling winds and angry surf outside. 

Highlights:

Above all else, great new memories with our family and friends. 

Outer Banks West/Currituck Sound KOA. Its a newer camp site located a the tip of the Currituck Sound.  On a normal day I would have loved to kayak in the morning before meeting up with folks in the afternoon. Unfortunately, not this trip, but we plan go back. 

Coinjock Marina. Really amazing buffalo chicken wings, excellent hush puppies and a pretty nice  Cosmo (of course, I'm going to a Cosmo at every stop). 

 

Dominos (Train). First time playing.  There were 7 of us playing the game. It was a nice number and made it pretty competitive.

The Plan Takes Shape

Purchasing a travel trailer is one thing. Planning and preparing to use it, for a long-term trip...completely different experience. In fact, I'd go so far to say that while the YouTube videos, RV blog sites and Pinterest checklists have helped tremendously, I'm sure we will forget many things and suffer a few mishaps before this trip is all over. While this is sure to be an adventure...I am certain that this will be quite the "experience".

So, after much deliberation, we devised a plan. Here's what we came up with:

PLAN A: Spend the winter months in San Marcos, TX. - Arrive there by mid-October. On the way, we remote work during the week at a single FHU (full hook up) location, with WIFI access. Travel on Sunday morning to the next location, no more than 4-5 hours from the previous location working our way to San Marcos. 

PLAN B: If, at any point on the route we decide that we have had enough of the RV life, we turn around and come back home. 

PS: Can't forget to secure memberships to KOA, Good Sam and Harvest Hosts. I will tell you more about these as we get started.

and now...OUR ADVENTURE BEGINS!

Remote Work Redefined

While the pandemic has put a damper on a great many things, one of the most unexpected outcomes has been the redefining of remote work. Think about it, when in our lifetime will we ever have an opportunity to work literally ANYWHERE we want to? Once we return to our offices, that’s it, we are back to our next “normal”. For many of us, remote work will be a solution that some businesses adopt while others either set it aside or limit it to only certain lines of business.

Remember the two lessons I shared? Life is fragile and NOTHING is guaranteed…especially TIME.

I’m 53 years old. I am an executive that easily spends 50+ hours working each week. I have a home office that is comfortable and provides me with all of the functional needs I could ask for, but it still feels completely claustrophobic. Four more months of this "normal" and I am going to need therapy...and gastric bypass surgery.…and then…my wheels began turning.

I am blessed with a husband who has a penchant for adventure. The mere suggestion that we consider an alternative lifestyle for the rest of this work from home mandate was all it took. When Saturday came, we were touring Camping World and other RV vendors in a 100-mile radius. By the end of the next week we had settled on a 30 ft. Keystone Cougar Travel Trailer. Complete with all the amenities a glamping girl would require, Nick and I pulled the trigger and took our first step on the path of our new adventure. 

Pandemic Lessons Learned

This pandemic has taught me two critical lessons over the past 6 months. The first is that life is fragile. The second, you are guaranteed NOTHING while on this planet. So, whatever it is that you hope to do before you leave this world, you need to get out there and do it! 

These two realities were brought to light most recently upon the passing of my father-in-law. After fighting a battle with COPD for almost 20 years and being cared for by my husband these last 3 years, we said goodbye to him on August 8th. COVID played no part in his death. We had taken every precaution to protect him from exposure and essentially quarantined ourselves since the pandemic began. In the end, it was his heart and the disease that took him from us. Life is fragile. 

Throughout the life of my father-in-law, he had worked hard and managed his finances. He spent many of his last years on a large property in Missouri where he had built a pond, complete with a dock so that he could fish whenever he wanted to. The man LOVED to fish and talked about that property often. He had to sell it a couple years before he came to live with us. His health was declining and his wife, Pat, wanted them closer to a hospital in the event of an emergency. They moved to Harrisonville, MO and that was really the beginning of the end. There would be no more fishing from that point on. You are guaranteed NOTHING while on this planet, not even the joy of throwing a line in the water when the mood strikes you. 

So now what? My husband and I are living a different life. Its not driven by a care-giver's schedule. There are not doctor appointments or Hospice workers coming in to provide support. There are no special meals to make or multiple loads of laundry to do. Life is different. We are like empty nesters again. Now we take the lessons and figure out the next chapter. We are calling it...OUR ADVENTURE.

Memory Lane

I’m spending the holiday visiting my dad on his horse farm in Kansas. The horses have been gone for years. This place floods my memory with long past days watching the kids play hide and seek all over the property. Annual Easter egg hunts were held out on the front lawn when all the kids and cousins were little. The old barn cat is still around. She won’t let you hold her. She showed up years ago and the folks began feeding her. The cat never left. She does her job keeping the mice away and is paid with room and board.

Dad still manages the property on his own. God forbid the suggestion of hiring a crew to mow or trim. As long as he is capable, that man will be on the rider every week for hours and hours. He's a little too proud...and too financially conservative to hire out work. So my visit this weekend is that of a spectator, watching my dad catch up on trimming/mowing that was put off due to a couple weeks of Kansas storms. While I have offered to help, there has been no willingness to take me up on the free labor. I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t trust me driving the big mower or handling a weed eater. So, blogging will be my entertainment this morning.

Yesterday Dad asked me if I had an interest taking a trip down memory lane. I guess he doesn’t realize that driving up the long path to his house triggers hundreds of memories of my younger days.  But the invitation was really intriguing so I accepted happily.

The first stop on our trip was near the east side of Wichita. We ended up in a residential area and Dad asked me if I knew where I was. The blank expression left no doubt that I was clueless. He then explained that my lack of recall made sense because I was only one...or maybe two years old when we lived in the house that he had just parked in front of. 

I’ll back up a minute. I was born on a naval base in Pensacola, Florida. My dad had been in the Navy when he and Mom married. Wichita, Kansas had been home to both my parents prior to my dad going into the service. My mom had grown up in Wichita. The youngest of six, and born when my grandmother was in her early 40’s (oops), she was a spoiled and privileged daughter of an ice cream factory superintendent. My dad had been the son of a Tailor who had worked for high end menswear retailer Neiman Marcus in NY and somehow ended up at Henry’s in Kansas. Apparently, as my dad tells it, that line of work was fairly unique and if you were good, you were in high demand. My grandad was a networking genius. He had made contacts all over the US and when opportunities came up in the industry, they called him.  When my dad graduated high school, my grandfather took his talents back to Neiman Marcus in Houston TX. and that is the city where he and my grandmother stayed until his retirement.

So, back to the house. Here it is, my first home in Wichita. Dad says it looks about the same as it did when we lived in it 52 years ago. He remembered the address. Unbelievable!

After we pulled away from the house, Dad began telling me of re-enlisting in the Coast Guard a year later and our move to Wake Island, where we lived for a few years before coming back to the States.

By the time we returned to Wichita, my parents had added a couple additional siblings to the family. Our next home in Wichita was on Chautauqua St.. I actually have many memories in this home. I was starting the 3rd grade when we moved here. I still have friends I keep in touch with, all these years later, who went to school with me at Hillside Elementary, just a couple blocks over. 

Our stroll down memory lane ended in downtown Wichita. The main thoroughfare is Douglas. As teens we would “drag Douglas”. It was the highpoint of the week. Friday night would be bumper to bumper for blocks and then we’d get to the end of the street and go back the other direction. Hours of my junior year on Friday night were spent in my orange Fuego dragging Douglas. Sweet Memories...

As an adult, I love the revitalization of the downtown area. One of my favorite things to do if we are going through downtown is try to find all of the sculptures that have been placed randomly throughout the area. Here are a few of my memory lane finds today.